Taxes & My Patio

What do these things have in common?

1. They caused a lot of stress
2. They were expensive!!
3. They are done :)

The taxes caused an unbeleivable amount of stress. Oh my gosh. And the patio, which could have served as a release, just seemed to make matters worse.

It isn't like it was a surprise that all this money was going to be moving out of the bank account, and yet somehow, parting with it was just a struggle. At the reccomendation of my boss, I have been reading Deepak Chopra's The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. While much of this book does not come as something new to me, I am discovering that I have forgotten to practice these "laws".

In the book, Chopra talks about the flow of money. I think that the pending tax and patio expenses were acting like a dam in our lives. I feel such a release just having them out of the way. Phew!! Time to make some money :)

aham Brahmasmi [uhum bruhmaasmi]

This is how Meditation Day 1 went:

1. Spend 15 minutes reading the first link that came up when I Googled "How to Meditate"
2. Decide this isn't the kind of meditation that I had in mind, think for a few minutes about what the type of meditation was that I read about in some book
3. Do another search and determine that Mantra Meditation is more what I have in mind
4. Read about mantras and find one that sounds cool "Aham Brahmasmi"
5. How the hell do you pronounce that? How am I supposed to meditate using an expression I can't pronounce? Spend some time trying to find a Sanskrit pronounciation guide
6. Set the mood- turn on the fireplace and dim some lights
7. Pick up the kitten and sit cross legged on the floor (this is how you do it, right?).
8. Exhale - uhum - inhale - bruhmassmi - exhale - uhum - inhale - bruhmassmi ... wait this isn't working
9. Do the talking in my head! Yes that's it.
10.Sucessfully breath the mantra for 3 minutes before getting physcially uncomfortable - breathing tempo is funny, legs hurt, back hurts...

How is this a spiritual activity? I'll try it for a week. Now that I've got it figured out, it should be easy -- right?

http://www.e-bazi.com/2007/04/24/secrets-of-mantra-meditation/

Spirituality

Something I have felt is missing in my life over the past year or so is Spirituality. Having been raised in a cynical and anti-religious environment, and then having grown up to study philosophy (which I somehow consider un-religious--even though most philosophers are in some respect debating God), and then to marry someone with an equally un-religious background, the whole topic just feels uncomfortable.

I have so many internal conversations that prevent me from even exploring this subject. It's silly, it's not "real", only conservatives are into God, I can't fit in, I don't know how...the list goes on and on. So much so, that I find myself very stuck in the area of religion.

I remember when I was a teenager, and I was into studying writers like Emerson and Thoreau, that I once had this glimmer of a though about "the whole picture". I remember writing in my journal about how the soul was like one giant bowl of stew, and each of us was like a serving of that stew. I guess where I was going from that is that we are all are from the same stock. Or something like that. At any rate, I remember it seemed very enlightened to me at the time.

So maybe I will use this blog to explore spirituality a bit. I can take on different experiments in spirituality, and use this as a place to report and reflect on my experiences.

Currently, I'm intrigued by meditation. But again, I don't know how to begin. Where does one go to study meditation? Without a friend to introduce you to the practice, where do you learn?

I've decided I'm going to Google "how to meditate" and see what I come up with. I will try it for a few days and let you know how it goes (whoever "you" are).

http://www.how-to-meditate.org/