Since my last post, I've decided to revisit the Wisdom Course as a mentor. And of course, as is true of any Landmark program, the moment I signed up, my life became rich with...lets just say, things I could transform.
(For those of you who might be reading my blog and are unfamiliar with Landmark, I'm not going to give you any sort of an introduction -- you can click here to attend one online.)
In the week since the course began, the office has been full of drama. Working with Erik is on the verge of falling apart, and it is largely because I've spent so much of my time and energy on beleiving that his boss is a jerk and telling the whole world. There is this individual at my office, who manages Erik but not me, who's management style I disapprove of. I've tried to tell my boss what a jerk the guy is, but I feel like he's just not listening.
This evening I was on a call with the other mentors, and I thought I'd share with them about this upset. I quickly was returned to third grade, when a kid named Brandon used to pick on me (Mom -- I know you are reading...let me know if I got this story wrong). He sat next to me in class and would pull my hair, shove, and punch me. Finally, my mom went to the teacher and complained. The way I remember the situation, the teacher said that the kid was flirting with me and didn't do much besides move my desk. Basically, she didn't do anything and I was left feeling like a tattle tale.
I realize I've been acting like this guy at work is Brandon the Bully. I feel like he's picking on everyone and I shouldn't have to put up with it, and I've been being a tattle tale about it. And I wonder why I've been ineffective...why should I expect my VP of Sales to listen to a 3rd grader complain about a bully? He probably thought he was hiring an adult when he gave me my job.
So the skill you learn in the Wisdom Course is how to recognize when you are being a 3rd grader, and start being an adult. I'm going to try it on this week...
(For those of you who might be reading my blog and are unfamiliar with Landmark, I'm not going to give you any sort of an introduction -- you can click here to attend one online.)
In the week since the course began, the office has been full of drama. Working with Erik is on the verge of falling apart, and it is largely because I've spent so much of my time and energy on beleiving that his boss is a jerk and telling the whole world. There is this individual at my office, who manages Erik but not me, who's management style I disapprove of. I've tried to tell my boss what a jerk the guy is, but I feel like he's just not listening.
This evening I was on a call with the other mentors, and I thought I'd share with them about this upset. I quickly was returned to third grade, when a kid named Brandon used to pick on me (Mom -- I know you are reading...let me know if I got this story wrong). He sat next to me in class and would pull my hair, shove, and punch me. Finally, my mom went to the teacher and complained. The way I remember the situation, the teacher said that the kid was flirting with me and didn't do much besides move my desk. Basically, she didn't do anything and I was left feeling like a tattle tale.
I realize I've been acting like this guy at work is Brandon the Bully. I feel like he's picking on everyone and I shouldn't have to put up with it, and I've been being a tattle tale about it. And I wonder why I've been ineffective...why should I expect my VP of Sales to listen to a 3rd grader complain about a bully? He probably thought he was hiring an adult when he gave me my job.
So the skill you learn in the Wisdom Course is how to recognize when you are being a 3rd grader, and start being an adult. I'm going to try it on this week...
3 comments:
HI! Thanks for opening the comments, in the very least Missy and I read your blogs!
You do have the bully story down. After I talked to the teacher she sat you and boy down to talk. You seemed to feel better about it but it is funny how well we remember upsets in the third grade. It is also hard to deal with third grade bully-crushes.
I am not skilled in office politics at all, never worked in that sort of situation so I won't even try to comment there. I am however going to check out your landmark link. You always seem to gather so much from Landmark it is probaly a good plan to go there with this conflict as well.
Take care babe,
mom
Hey I read your blog too! I also know all about office bullies...they definitely can make you feel like a third grade tattle tale. Usually if you take the time to scratch the surface of them, you understand why they are bullying and it almost never has anything to do with work. Does not change things, but understanding goes a long way to help you put up with it!
Love you!
Aunt Missy
Are you ever going to post something new on this blog? Inquiring minds want to know :)
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