Patio Prep Work

Paver Patios

I thought I would insert a quick little video, detailing how pavers are installed professionally.



Today, E is in the "lay the roadbed" stage of installing our patio. He has taken down a chunk of our back fence so that our little 1983 Toyota Pickup can get through to drop off the load. The truck holds 3/4 Ton, and we apparently need 2-3 Tons of road base to create the required sublevel for the pavers.

On the first load, the truck was a little overloaded with 1 Ton of roadbase, making it look like a lowrider (hey, we do live in Thornton!).

Working with My Husband

I had no idea the challenges that would face me in working with my husband. I thought it would be fun. I thought it would be great to spend some time together. I had a few suspicions as to the obstacles he would face, but I didn't realize how I would react to them.

I'm having a really hard time with it, yet I can't put my finger on just why. Which makes it very difficult to address the problem. So I thought I'd use my blog to try to sort it out (pretty sure nobody is reading this anyway).

How things were vs. how things are:

6 months ago

I loved my job and was kicking ass. I was the top sales rep at my company and I'm pretty sure my co-workers were all envious. My boss adored me, my customers were great, I traveled fun places. My friends were jealous that I had such a cool job, and E preferred to talk about my job over his because it was so much more interesting.

3 months ago

The high from the end of last year was still strong. I was preparing for the event of the year, taking E with me as a reward, and making great strides with my main strategic account. E was struggling with his job and had been approached about working with my company. Sales had slowed down, I assumed this was due to the start of a new year.

This month

E has started working with me. He is so happy and excited for his new job. We now spend our evenings talking about his job, the challenges he faces, and strategies for success. When we talk about my job, it is usually to address a issue he is having.

One of the biggest changes for me has been my "work at home" schedule. I have always related to Friday night as the unwind, Saturday as the day off (but staying on top of my emails), and Sunday as the project / catchup day with some clearly defined personal time. E's work from home schedule is not at all the same. Since he is still picking up on many of the procedural details, we usually talk about procedures on the way home, strategies in the evening, and research at night.

This is totally fucking me up. It feels like the lines are blurred. For the first time in over a year, I'm having work dreams. I grind my teeth at night to the extent that I actually irritated a tooth into needing a root canal.

I'm also no longer enviable. This is true at home and at the office. I've had a very slow quarter and am certain that none of my coworkers are jealous of my success at the moment. Then I come home and no longer have a husband who envies my job, because he loves his own so much.

Maybe I am just a selfish little bitch who likes to be the center of attention (it wouldn't be the first time I've been accused of this). It seems wrong that I am so unhappy about his happiness. I guess I was really getting something out of all of the attention. I think it was driving me, and now I have crashed.

Today at work, my boss (who is a great boss--and I don't just say that in case he is reading) asked me how I was doing. Either he is very perceptive or I am very transparent because he can always tell when I am "off". I told him I was ok, but that I am having a hard time adjusting to working with E. He asked why, and I mentioned an event that happened last night, where I thought I was giving E some constructive coaching and I felt he was defensive. This then turned into an extensive conversation about E. No more focus on me. That is just how it is going.

I think that I had this vision of how working together would be. I thought that I, being one of the most senior people and a top sales rep, would give him golden advice. I thought he would listen to my every word and follow it like it was golden. I expected that in return, he would give me great suggestions that would only make me better. Instead, he resists my coaching and says I am demeaning or condecending. I then get frustrated and we get in a fight.

The stress is compounded by the fact that every at home arguement is about work. Like I said, the lines are blurred. At least before when we fought, it was about the Tango or fishing.

This was useful. Now I have some insight into why I am struggling:

1. The unfulfilled (and uncommunicated) expectation that I would be a great role model, mentor, teacher, and coach
2. I am no longer the center of attention and envy
3. Blurred lines between my personal and business life

Too bad I didn't have something more fun to blog about. I always enjoy inserting cool little pictures or graphics...all I could insert today is a frowny face :(

Patio Progress

I thought I would post an update as to the progress of our first true do-it-yourself project: building a patio. E has the excavation done, and today he is going to go rent some power tools for compacting the dirt so that the patio will not shift with time. I am looking forward to having the patio complete, because then we can move on to the rest of the lanscaping (trees, bushes, grass, and a veggie garden).

Once the Patio is up, we will need to update the patio furniture with new cushions and an umbrella (since there are no trees to provide shade). I have my eye on an umbrella I saw in sky mall that was lined on the inside with little LED lights that are solar charged.

I will post more pictures when the project is done :)

Landscaping & Work

The last few weeks have been consumed with two things: Work and Landscaping.

Three weeks ago E took a job with my company...what a change! We've been busy adjusting to the new job and the new schedule. For me, the biggest change is that I am no longer sitting around every night waiting for three hours for my husband to come home (hence the decrease in blogging!). For E, the new job means a lot less stress--and I tend to think he has been making up things to be stressed about to fill the void.

We've also begun the enormous task of landscaping our yard. Our house was a great deal, mostly because it had been so terribly neglected the past two years. Being as it is a new house, this neglect was minimal on the inside--but our yard is hell.

We have mapped out budgets, drawn lines in the dirt, tried to figure out how to make a design plan, talked to vendors and friends, gone to visit plots of grass all around town, and spent hours online. As we speak, the sun has gone down and E is still out digging the whole where the patio is going to go.

The bright side to the ladscaping is it gives us something to talk about other than work! Below is our first round draft at the landscape plan.